The Brutal Truth

February 8, 2010 – 10:26 pm

Dammit, Cyst, the opportunity was there for a gay joke and you just fucking fumbled the ball. You're fired.


His Disease is Spreading

February 6, 2010 – 1:51 pm

How did I raise such a fucking worthless lump of carbon? God but I wish dead people could kill themselves.

 I’m sure Bil and Jeffy see me coming. Today’s one was another that was practically an FCoV on its own. Literally all I changed was adding the profanity and emphasis. Assuming they do read this blog, I have one thing to say: THIS IS DEFINITELY THE DIRECTION YOU SHOULD BE HEADING, KEEP IT UP.

I’d love to see Scott Gairdner make something of this, too.


Homecoming Queen (Slight Return)

February 5, 2010 – 9:18 pm

She's in a bad mood because her masterpiece, 'Eyes Right (1)' only got a C+. She has already eaten the teacher's remains, which by then were grey and with the consitency of porridge.


Just In Time For The Six Nations/Super Bowl (delete as applicable)

February 5, 2010 – 9:14 pm

He doesn't bother practicing his penalty-taking anymore because Dolly keeps snatching Jeffy away just before he can make contact


Customer Care

February 5, 2010 – 9:08 pm

Yes, they sell that in Wal-Mart


The New Shock of the New

February 5, 2010 – 8:58 pm

Green ink apparently denotes psycopathy.


The Light is Fading

February 5, 2010 – 8:52 pm

This production of Les Misérables is going slowly


Ghost Devices

January 31, 2010 – 10:32 pm

Shouldn't you be wearing that sheet over your head and going 'woo' or some shit?


Intelligence

January 31, 2010 – 10:29 pm

Not that it matters. Invade anyway. Fuck it, whatever it says in here, you know you're gonna.


Miller’s Crossing

January 28, 2010 – 2:16 pm

It is his favourite bedtime story

Early warning: it’s one month before the 50th anniversary of The Family Circus. It actually started on February 29th, so they can’t have a properly accurate birthday, but I expect they’ll celebrate it on the 28th. How the FCoV responds to this depends on how Keane does.